Depression & The Flu

As some sort of cosmic joke, my mental anguish seems to have converted into physical agony — namely by way of the flu. Yes, on top of passive suicidal daydreaming, depression lethargy, racing thoughts and extremely irregular sleep patterns (more like cat naps), my body is achy, my skin burns, I’m painfully excreting yellow/green phlegm from my lungs, and I have a sinus headache that would make a priest curse.

I know that being depressed lowers your immunities, but this is just ridiculous. I feel as miserably externally as I do within, which, although is strangely fitting, I sure as hell wish I didn’t feel this way. I feel like I’m being tested in all my faculties — mentally/emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Could these symptoms also have something to do with my close to year-long religious crisis? Eh, well, that’s for another post…

Anyway, just checking in. It brings me some level of comfort to know people actually read this. I can be more honest here and less guarded here than in “real life.”

And now… to wait for this Ambien and Klonopin to kick in, and carry me back to sleep.

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